Lan Portnoy

Copic markers and pencil on paper. 9 in by 12 in. Illustrated by Katharen Hedges.

[Copic markers and pencil on paper. 9 in by 12 in. Illustrated by Katharen Hedges.]

Being Sleepy Is…

Being sleepy is like an energetic sloth

It doesn’t happen, nothing happens

The world is in turbo mode and all you feel is the slight beat of your heart

Per minute, per hour.

Being sleepy is like a two toed sloth clawing the sheets

Tossing and turning to build itself a cave, a cocoon

So she can hide in the darkness forever

Being sleepy is like a sloth playing dead

Never knowing if it’s breathing or dreaming

Dreaming of the deep slumber

Or hanging in a tree watching the world pass

Almost as thrilling as taking the first step out of the clouds

Being sleepy is like a sloth ready to party

When a party is a pile full of tree bark with words scribbled across the pages

Being sleepy is like a sloth deciding to take a break from a deep slumber for days

And only sleep until sunset

When darkness overwhelms the eyes

The glassed pupils stare off into an imaginary world

Where the rotation of the earth finally meets the speed

Pleasing to the fantasies that play in the darkness

My Relationship Advice Came From Imagine Dragons

All of my Night Visions turned to dreams

When the dark of my Demons escaped

Frigid days waiting for my, come.

Everything I need to know I learned from The Fall

Even when I’m broken shattered to pieces

There will be a small glitz to my crown

I know I’m not truly alone

When the worst is yet to come

I learned not to be scared of the monster that keeps me awake day or night

That I’d Bet My Life that my tears that rang for you

Won’t come back to me

But I’d give one last look

For the troubles I’ve caused your sickened mind

This mind that told me I’m a Warrior that rose from the Fallen

This Radioactive love we feel

Goes Round and Round

I built this town from dust

Chemicals I breathe in

Feel like your soul turning me into a sin

Saying you won’t leave me this time

For you only played my mind

My love, It Won’t Come Back to You

I’m So Sorry

But you gotta let go

There’s nothing left to say now

Giving up is like The River flowing to cleanse the damage

You shot my heart

I’m Bleeding Out thinking it’s my fault

As if it was Polaroid picture

These memories lost on the train of thought

The Friction between us can’t be fought off

No matter where I stand

I know that I gotta

Get out of the middle

And rise to the top

I know I am on Top of the World

Even though these Smoke and Mirrors cloud my future

I can see clearly without you in my life

Cold Hunger

A dark evening revealed what was left of my hunger. When I proceeded to the foggy vending machine, I lost my balance collapsing to the ground. My vision began to blur the sight of coolness being placed over my face.

The scream was silent as I heard footsteps clicking towards my still body. All I wanted was an expired candy bar and instead I’m underneath this cool dampness of unknowing. I’m going to disappear forever. I didn’t get to say goodbye to my parents, my little sister or my three pet gold fish. How could I be doing this to them. The worry they must feel, overwhelming like a hot and humid day.

I shifted my arm across my stomach lifting it to the pain that cried inside of me. The blood curdling scream from a few feet away splattered dark stains across my faces. I tried to run, but my feet were stuck in molasses. Glued to the floor as if waiting for the unexplained death was hard enough for my family to see. I couldn’t even fight this monster that was about to murder me.

I felt my heart pounding as I could feel the cold metal on my throat. Taunting the last of my breath. The luke warm blood started to spill as I grasped for the hope I had left.


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